Thursday, 4 October 2012

I Felt Like "The Princess & The Pea".


Last night I was reminded of the story "The Princess & The Pea" where no matter how many mattresses were on her bed,  she could feel the small wee bump that was the pea.

I can only go to seep on my left hand side in the foetal position usually with no blanket, as I get to hot if I'm covered.

Last night I clambered onto my bed & assumed my sleep position, my body felt like lead I felt exhausted as I'd had a really emotional afternoon.

The emotions revoled around hurt & anger (explained in page Emotions & Physhical Pain).  So here I was snuggled up & all of  a sudden I felt something digging into my ribcage.

I tried to ignore the digging because I was so fatigued that I didn't even have the energy to move properly. I'd tried gently tilting my top hip backwards about an inch, but half way through the manouvre my left hip bone came into contact wth the mattress & a searing, shooting pain twisted its way through my hip causing me to jolt back into place.

I tried telling myself the digging sensation was either my Fibromyalgia or Dercums Disease because that would mean it would ease off as my painkillers kicked in.

Alas over an hour later the digging persisted meaning I'd have to summon the energy to move & find out what was causing it.  I managed to push myself enough that I could grapple around with one hand, much to my annoyance I didn't fnd anything.

I hit the bed with a thud & again assumed my position, to my delight no digging just  a tender spot but I didn't care. My eyes rolling in my head I could feel myself falling asleep.

Less than an hour later I was woken by 'The Digging Pain' oh the joys.  I knew there wasn't anything underneath me. I was also feeling very achey all over & had sharp, stabbing pains in my right hip.

I realised I must of gotten cold & now would be a good time to clamber under my duvet, I nipped to the toilet & stripped off replacing what I had on with a t-shirt &  pair of panties, as when I sleep under the duvet I get mega hot.

Curling up under the duvet to warm my aching, sore muscles I soon noticed there was no digging sensation, pleased it was gone & to tired to care what the cause had been I fell asleep.

My sleep was fractured & most unrefreshing (that would come under a different blog title so won't go into details) .but at least there had been nothing digging into my ribs.

Once I was awake & as soon as I was flexible enough to move  I pulled back my bedsheets but found nothing ?  I poked aroind my support mattress again nothing ? Hmmmmm what on earth was it that had caused me to be so uncomfortable ?

Feeling cold as I was no longer snuggled under the duvet I pulled on the top I'd removed during the night, drank my mug of hot milkie coffee & took my medication. As usual my meds soon blew my head off, added to the fractured sleep I'd had, nausea, dizzyness & the unfailing urge to fall asleep soon kicked in. I decided it would be best if I got my head down for an hour.

I assumed my normal sleep position, low & behold the digging pain was there - more awake & able to move I instantly realised what it was. I was laid on the seem of my jumper.  A jumper I have slept in many times before, that had never bothered me.

For whatever reasons last night the weight of my body against the seam of my jumper had caused me pain. Yet I'd of sworn I was laid on a small piece of Lego brick or similar. It reminded me of the story " The Princess & The Pea" my reality however is that I have Fibromyalgia & Dercums Disease.

Although Fibromyalgia is not progressive Dercums Disease is & at the time of diagnosis my Dermatologist explained my independent diagnoses of Fibromyalgia still stands as I have 16 out of the 18 tender points & some of the symptoms of each differing.  Although they also share many, pain & fatigue being the worst. 

The Dercums Disease also exaggerates & exacerbates my Fibromyalgia symptoms meaning the Fibromyalgia is a lot more painful because of the Dercums.

Over the last few months I have been noticing small things that are different. My recovery time from my partying overnight in Blackpool was wicked & I am still after 12 days suffering with chronic fatigue when I am awake. Which has led to me suffering with serious Fibro Fog, poor coordination, balance & memory problems.

The pain in my left arm is constant & none of my medications work at touching it. It feels like a dead weight from shoulder to elbow.  Whereas 3yrs ago only my forearm felt like this.

The last thing for now that I have noticed is how long the episodes of Fibro Fog have been lasting, scarily for me without me being aware until something happens that draws my attention to it.

I'v started to wonder what the future holds for me, a least wth the Fibromyalgia I didn't have to worry about it being progressive. Realising now that although it was a massive relief to get the Dercums diagnosis as it explained so much about what was going on that didn't fit wth Fibromyalgia  that I now have to contend with n illness that will eventually leave my whole body racked with permanent pain & that I will suffer from dementia.

On top of that my doctor told me last week that the Osteoarthritis I had in my hands was now in my knee's & ankles - another progressive, painful illness. Explaining to me that the bony nodules forming on my fingertip joints are Hebredon's Nodes which are usually not painful once fully formed where painful in me & probably always will be because of how Fibromyalgia & Dercums transmitted pain signals.

The real force of the journey I am has finally registered I just hope I am strong enough to get through it.

xx Georgie 

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