Hi all~ so I am in quite the extreme flare right now. Would you like to know why? #1: It's raining and the weather can't make up its mind on what to do and #2 STRESS STRESS STRESS. If you couldn't tell, I'm really stressed. My grandma has Alzheimer's and was placed in a nursing home in June. She had been doing the best we had seen her in a whole and then BAM my aunt gets a call from the nursing home that she is unresponsive. Hospice told us we'd have 1-6 months. So my mom goes up to the nursing home immediately and the nurses tell her that my grandma is only responding to pain. So as usual, my mom leans in and goes "open those eyes beautiful" and god dammit my grandma opened her eyes and started to cry and then pulled my mom in for a hug. She did that twice during my mom's visit. So yesterday my grandpa sat with her from 11am to 4:30pm and my aunt sat with her from 4:30pm to 6pm when mom and I got there. She looked so little and fragile. It killed me. When I leaned down to her she cried and hugged me. And my mom wears a necklace that I gave her for Mother's day about 6 years ago. My grandma pulled her forward by it and was very upset. My mom and I decided to put it on her and the moment we did she calmed down and fell asleep. So I am currently a wreck, both pain wise and emotionally. I have to take pain meds to be able to sleep. And all I want to do is cry. My mom's going back up tonight but I can't bring myself to go. I feel like a coward but I just can't do it. Taking care of her has been my everything for the past 5 years and to have her ripped away from me so suddenly…I just can't handle it. A while ago my grandma's best friend told me that since the day I was born I've been the apple of my grandma's eye. It really surprised me seeing I didn't have the best relationship with her until she started to lose her memory. She likely won't make it to the weekend, and in a way that's good. She won't be suffering anymore. She'll be with her parents (she lost her mom when she was 13). And I know I'll have another guardian angel looking over me.
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P.S. Sorry that this is mostly unrelated to fibro Georgie~